Friday, August 31, 2007

Job change

I loathe change. Change is hard and requires intense emotions, worries and many 'what ifs' for the future. I am in the midst of a job/career change. For 2 unhappy years, my brain has been as stale as a saltine cracker- crumbling with boredom each day I trudge to my job. Yet, it is far easier to be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation than risk the unknown. I actually mulled over staying at my current position rather than leaving because of fear. Fear that I may fail. Fear of starting over. Fear that I may dislike this new position even more. I am not even 30 years old and I could easily be one of those people that is frozen in time- never risking because risk is too hard. It would be easier to stay in my little shell and peer at the world through my safe haven. Yet, we are called to live. I don't want to look back in 10 or 20+ years wondering, "Would if I had done this... would if I had taken that job... where would I be today?" My dad has a friend who remained at a terrible company for 27 years. This man could not make a decision and was fearful of change and the unknown. For 27 years he was incredibly miserable. Just 2 days ago- he walked off the job--- almost by force. 27 years wasted. 27 years unfulfilled, not living his purpose. I don't want to be that person.

I have prayed long and hard to God about living for Him, finding the purpose He has for me on this earth. And I have been clinging to this verse:

"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years..." Deut. 30:19

I want to choose life- even when it's hard. Even when things are uncomfortable. And when change is hard- I know I can hold fast to my God- for his ways are PERFECT. And He won't stear me wrong- as long as my head is lifted up to the heavens- wanting to do His best.

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